I have been absent from the blog lately. Sorry.
I have been busy and I have also had some issues. Issues that
forced me to take a look at my future and where I am headed. Issues that made
me change my timeline a little. Scary.
Okay, where to start....
Actually, last Monday... it was just a REALLY long week, I
went to the lady doctor. Tons of fun. I just recently switched insurance so I
ended up using a new doctor. This is a good thing, because my last doctor
didn't listen to a thing I said.
Anyways, off track... So I go to this new doctor. We start going
over my medical history and I tell her about the cysts and how I have all the
signs of P.C.O.S and when I mentioned it to my other doctor's husband (she
didn't have time to see me.) the answer was, "Yeah it seems to be P.C.O.S
but I already have you on Birth Control for your irregularity so that's pretty
much all we can do." He then left the room.
I told them numerous times the medicine
they had me on wasn't controlling anything and finally had to demand
it be changed. It was great and I finally got relief.
Skip to recently.... The new Dr. said that because I have been
regulated 7 years by BC it's hard to say what is going on. My hormones are so
regulated this point and have been for so long. So ... I can go off of it and
see what happens or I can stay regulated and assume the first diagnosis was
correct.
Then she said with the history of cancer,
the endometriosis among other issues she feared that it was better for me to
try for kids soon. Like a lot sooner than later. She said there might not be an
issue but there could be, especially
with mom's endometriosis and history of 3 miscarriages. Luckily, my
sister being pregnant gives us hope.
So we have been talking about the options.
A LOT. And crying a lot. Oh wait that was just me.
Hmmm... I said I didn't know if I was
ready for a child or not. I have talked about it on the blog before. The baby
timing is a total conflict for me. Now? Later? Am I ready? No?
I think this is what I have wanted all
along, but I have been afraid that it wouldn't or couldn't happen so I never
let myself entertain the thought. Now that it is a thought that has to be
entertained I am excited. I have been a pinning fool. I have caught myself
leading Chris towards the baby sections when we are shopping.
So that is why I have been absent. There
have been huge decisions in the Hermann household.
Oh and the devotional app on my phone
today?
" He settles the childless woman in
her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
- Psalm 113:9
A sign maybe? We are now birth control free. Say a prayer that this
works out the way God intends.
-M
