I went to a bar with Honey Boo Boo

True story. Well actually it was my mom dressed as Little Ms. Honey boo boo. A local bar here always has a costume contest with awesome prizes and mom was determined to win. 

We got a bubble gum pink dress from a local thrift store, a blonde wig, and trashy makeup. Hallie donated her stuff pig and we took and old horse show trophy and wrote "Grand Supreme" on it. Mom put a lot of thought into it. 

But we were in a bar. Everyone was drunk. And slutty wins in that case. One of the chicks dressed as "The Wet T-shirt winner" won. Notice how I said one of? There were like 3. What happened to originality? I thought mom looked great and we had a blast so whatev. 

The rest of the weekend I organized my house, bought light fixtures and paint, did laundry and made laundry detergent. Being Suzie Homemaker is tough. I took like 3 naps. That is all I did all weekend... Some recap, huh? That is why I am blessing you guys with another awesome read today.

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Meet

Nicole at Living with Fletch. 

She is adorable. They are adorable. Just read the Love Story, I will wait... Did ya read it? I thought it was sweet. I also loved where she explained the sass attack. I am pretty sure a scene just like this plays out at our house weekly and I just have never had a name for it. Now, thanks to Nicole, I can tell hubs it was just a sass attack. I laughed out loud when I read about how getting a new phone led to a new number that belonged to someone with a very interesting lifestyle. Read it here. 

See even when I am boring and do old people things on the weekend (living at Lowes) I still manage to give you reading material! Now go check out Nicole and Fletcher!

That time we were those neighbors...

My mama may never speak to me again. 

Okay so that is probably a lie, but she is going to be ashamed. 

I, Mallory, did not exactly welcome trick or treaters this year. 

*gasp* 

Earlier today mom asked me if I had prepared for trick or treaters. When I said no she was not a happy camper. Apparently this house in the cul de sac has been offering candy since 1989, and that should not stop because someone named Mallory bought the place. "Don't be those neighbors" she warned. 

I groaned and told her I didn't have time to get candy, I had a hair appointment and the dogs were getting used to the new place and I didn't want strangers knocking on the door all night.  She told me to put candy in a dish next to the mailbox. Big D (mama) has an answer for everything. 

It's not even that I hate the idea of cute little kids dressed as pumpkins and kittens and cowboys knocking on my door, I just really want a quiet evening in mending whatever is going on with the hubs. That means candles, a scary movie and pumpkin cheesecake. 

In the end mom warned that if I don't put out candy my house might be egged or tp'ed. What, by second graders??? If any punk kids decide to get ghetto at my house it is on, just saying. I will flatten the tires on their bicycles. Kidding... Kinda. 

Then I started thinking.... Big D might roll my house just to teach me a lesson. So there is a bowl outside with candy, but the porch light is off so don't come knocking!