Changed in an instant

My life changed instantly.

 I saw two pink lines and my life changed. A few weeks later as the doctor explained that my little peanut was no more my life changed again.

It's weird, I was so nervous about being a mom and so afraid I wasn't ready. I now realize that I want nothing more than to hold my child.

We were devastated at first. I cried more than I have ever cried before. Chris cried... Chris cried.
My body hasn't recognized it yet. I have technically had a missed miscarriage. It is hard waiting.

We have realized now that this is God's plan. It happened for a reason. I am still a mother.

                                                                            Via

We do plan on trying again and we are hoping we will be blessed again. For now all we can do is pray.

A Moment of Silence

Today we take a moment of silence to pray and to remember the victims. 

Children, mothers,brothers, sisters, wives. 

They were all taken senselessly. 

Today we remember them. 

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Rachel D'Avino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47

Jesse Lewis, 6

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Emilie Parker, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Mary Sherlach, 56

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Victoria Soto, 27

Daniel Barden, 7

Josephine Gay, 7

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

James Mattioli, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison Wyatt, 6.

Pray for Newtown

Today I was going to actually post something after a brief break. I was going to explain where I have been and all the excitement hitting my life. Then something happened... something that made my life and everything in it right now seem so trivial. Our nation was rocked by another selfish killer. This time the killer attacked innocent children. Innocent children that were looking forward to the holidays. Children who were trying to learn and grow. Children who had big dreams. They are gone.

What goes through a monster's head? Why did he have to attack people? Why did the kids have to die?

I pray for the community, the families and friends. I pray for the faculty of Sandy Hook Elementary. I pray for the children who witnessed the horrific events that unfolded today. I pray for the children that lost their lives. I pray that the nation is praying.

I will see you guys Monday.

Deck the Halls...

That is exactly what we did this weekend. If you follow me on instagram (@lilmrsh) you have seen the evidence! If not your about too...

Gorgeous? I think so. 

Christmas is rough. I have been trying to keep myself busy. So far, so good. 

A customer was irritated today,and made it a little tough. I told him I would get the owner for him... he shouts, " you can't the owner is DEAD!" My stomach dropped and I felt sick.  I hate the word "dead". He is no longer with us. He isn't HERE anymore. I just informed the ass Dad was the owner now. Then I sobbed. Uncontrollably at work. In front of 18 guys who just don't know how to handle it when girls cry. 

I am better now. I am sitting here enjoying the Christmas decor and ignoring any negativity that may come my way. I don't need it. No one needs it. Push away the negativity folks and enjoy the season. That's what I plan to do. Remember the reason for the season. Hug your loved ones. Sorry this went from happy to Debbie downer.