Thursday, April 25, 2013

Baby? Maybe?


I have been absent from the blog lately. Sorry.
I have been busy and I have also had some issues. Issues that forced me to take a look at my future and where I am headed. Issues that made me change my timeline a little. Scary.

Okay, where to start....
Two Mondays ago
 Actually, last Monday... it was just a REALLY long week, I went to the lady doctor. Tons of fun. I just recently switched insurance so I ended up using a new doctor. This is a good thing, because my last doctor didn't listen to a thing I said.

Anyways, off track... So I go to this new doctor. We start going over my medical history and I tell her about the cysts and how I have all the signs of P.C.O.S and when I mentioned it to my other doctor's husband (she didn't have time to see me.) the answer was, "Yeah it seems to be P.C.O.S but I already have you on Birth Control for your irregularity so that's pretty much all we can do." He then left the room.



I told them numerous times the medicine they had me on wasn't controlling anything and finally had to demand it be changed. It was great and I finally got relief. 

Skip to recently.... The new Dr. said that because I have been regulated 7 years by BC it's hard to say what is going on. My hormones are so regulated this point and have been for so long. So ... I can go off of it and see what happens or I can stay regulated and assume the first diagnosis was correct. 

Then she said with the history of cancer, the endometriosis among other issues she feared that it was better for me to try for kids soon. Like a lot sooner than later. She said there might not be an issue but there could be,  especially with mom's endometriosis and history of 3 miscarriages.  Luckily, my sister being pregnant gives us hope. 

So we have been talking about the options. A LOT. And crying a lot. Oh wait that was just me. 

Hmmm... I said I didn't know if I was ready for a child or not. I have talked about it on the blog before. The baby timing is a total conflict for me. Now? Later? Am I ready? No?

I think this is what I have wanted all along, but I have been afraid that it wouldn't or couldn't happen so I never let myself entertain the thought. Now that it is a thought that has to be entertained I am excited. I have been a pinning fool. I have caught myself leading Chris towards the baby sections when we are shopping. 

So that is why I have been absent. There have been huge decisions in the Hermann household.

Oh and the devotional app on my phone today?

" He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
         - Psalm 113:9

A sign maybe? We are now birth control free.  Say a prayer that this works out the way God intends.   

-M


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5 comments :

Lisa said...

Good luck!

Alyssa Whitt said...

This was a decision we recently made. Are we ready? Are we not? Are you EVER ready?? I prayed a lot about it and finally threw the pill away. Just felt tugged in that direction. He knows what He's doing!

Jayme Holmes said...

I don't think there is ever a right time to have children, they change your life but I think they also complete it :)

Good luck!

Julia {J- Ziggy} said...

We recently made this decision too- as scared as I am, I know that God will give us a baby when He knows we're ready. Good luck on your journey!

Casey Aslan said...

Wow, I think this is a blessing! I'm sure you have been praying for guidance about the correct timing for children...have you thought that maybe this is God saying alright this is the time, I'm showing you with big flashing signs that this is your time.

I'm excited for you! I pray that God will let me know when I am truly ready to bring kiddos into this world.