Amicalola Falls

Hello lovelies,
We are on vacation this week and have decides to just explore our gorgeous state again. We went to the farm and clayton and Dillard Georgia but those posts come later. Right now, you guys get to here me whine.

We went to Amicalola falls. It's a gorgeous waterfall in north Georgia. I want to get in shape and I wanted a park where I could take the dogs. The park fit the criteria and I hadn't been there since I was like 5. If 5 year old Mallory can make it up the mountain and the 604 stairs to the top then surely 25 year old Mallory would have no issue right?

Wrong. First the dogs haven't really been in public around other dogs since we bought the mini horse farm. There is no reason to go to dog parks when they have acres to run on here. That is changing this week. They wanted to play with every dog they met.

We found a quiet wooded area away from everyone else and had a picnic. Riley was an angel. Duh, he is my dog.  Lacey barked at everybody that passed. Apparently she had claimed the woods as her own. Brat.
After our picnic we started our hike. Bad idea. About half way up, after being pulled up the mountain by a very excited pit/lab at a very fast rate, I started feeling nauseated. Don't run up a mountain with a very wild pup after eating.  I was pretty sure everyone on the trail was about to witness a very ugly post lunch moment.

We found a bench and I sat there for 20 minutes trying to calm the jerk down.  I was silently cursing 5 year old Mallory for making this trail look so easy. We started up the stairs again and Riley panicked a little because he could see through the stairs. It slowed him down a bit, but now I was ready to run. When we got to the top it was worth it. The views were breathtaking. 

 

I did learn I need to work out more. I also learned the dogs need to get out more and that kids have way more energy than I ever will.  Maybe next time when we go back I will be in better shape and can enjoy it more.

Never Trust a Min Pin

I am posting this post as a warning.  If you own a Min Pin or ever come in contact with one remember, they are just pretending to be an ally. Learn from my story.

The min pin that tricked me is, of course, Lacey.

Sorry it's blurry, This is one of her baby pictures (5 months) when we thought she was so innocent.

Okay so last night, I was really craving something sweet and I didn't want to completely blow the diet so I decided to sneak into the kitchen for a marshmallow or 2. I have learned that one marshmallow will cure any sweet craving I have and I figure they are better than a whole bowl of ice cream or a candy bar. Lacey follows me into the kitchen and begs. This is the conversation we had. Yes I talk to my dog.

Lacey: Growls
Me: "Lace, I am hiding from your dad because he thinks he has more self- control than me. Go away."
        This diet has become a competition. Anything we do together becomes a game, I swear.
Lacey: Jumps up and down and whimpers
Me: " Look, these things aren't good for me, so I am sure they are awful for you."
Lacey: blank stare and a growl.
          At this point she is drawing too much attention to the kitchen. 
Me: "Fine you can have one! One! But eat it in here so your dad doesn't know what we are up to."

That little brat marched over to the doorway to the living room (she stayed in the kitchen) and smacked as loud as she could right where he could see her. I thought we had an understanding. Nope.

Don't trust a min pin. Ever.

My dogs ARE my kids!

 

So people are always asking when I plan to have kids. I mean, I have been married almost 2 years where are the little ones? 

I have little ones. I have a 7 year old (I cannot believe she is 7) and a 3 year old. 

Meet Lacey and Riley. 

Cutest faces ever. 

Here is a list of reasons why I am convinced they are just like having kids... 

1) They bicker like children. Riley is always taking any toy that he thinks Lacey might be interested in. Lacey constantly tattles. The next minute she is stealing his bed and he is pacing and grumbling. Just like human siblings. 

2) Riley has severe allergies. I am constantly reading labels, handing out allergy meds, applying ointment and snuggling with a puppy that doesn't feel 100% on his bad days. It's just like caring for a human child. 

3) Riley is a late sleeper like me, he loves veggies like me, and he is a people person dog just like me. Lacey is an early riser, she is super smart, and she is a loner just like Chris. Just like kids, they take after their parents. 

4) When we go to the weekend house okay, anywhere I have to be sure to pack water, the correct food/treats for Riley, his meds, toys, potty bags, extra leashes and a blanket for Lacey. It's just like packing a diaper bag.

And finally... 

5) I love them unconditionally. I look forward to getting home and snuggling with them. I don't know what I would do without them. Kinda like kids. 

Am I the only one obsessed with my monsters? Please tell me there is someone else as obsessed with their dogs.

Pogo Sticks and hot wine

Hello. This is me right now. 

Okay. Okay. I am not at the country club right now. I am on my couch. 

That was me at my best friend's wedding last year. 

When I could drink. Because my nutritional coach didn't spout random shit about how wine=calories. 

Why was I sad then? Because I spent too much time dancing and my wine got warm. 

See lot's of dancing?

Note to self: You should have just enjoyed that warm wine, because now you are wine deprived. 

I do have plenty of whine though. See what happened there? Yeah I am lame. 

That was not the point of this post I am just way off track. 

Okay... see this face. 

Riley S. Dog

Yeah he looks cute, but he has issues. Actually both of my dogs have issues. 

The other day it was gorgeous out and I had stuff to do in the barn. I didn't trust them, because Lacey runs under the fence all the time. She just uses me for food. She could care less about hanging around. 

So I put them on tie outs near the barn. This is where it gets fun. The second they are tied they turn into maniacs. Even if they can still touch me. They seriously lose their heads. 

Lacey ties herself as tight as she can around anything. She will find a blade of grass and wrap her lead around it. EVERY TIME. Then she sits there and pants and paces until I unravel her rope,so she can quickly tie herself to something else. It's cute. 

Riley grows Pogo sticks in the bottom of his feet and jumps as high as he can. Then he jumps at me. He never jumps on people unless he is tied. Then he forgets manners.  It's like he goes into primal mode and forgets that he lives inside and sleeps on my bed and he is not actually a yard dog. Then he gets bored and eats grass until he vomits. It's attractive. That's why all the lady dogs are after him. Most def. 

I am going to go snuggle with the weirdos. Have a great day ya'll!

Riley's Resolutions!

I am exhausted and I have to work today, but we have a special guest... Riley.

This is Riley if he could talk...

Hey guys! I am Riley and I am my mom's favorite. Don't tell Lacey, because she thinks she is mama's favorite. So my mama talked all about her New Year's Resolutions last night, so I decided to make a list of my own. She also decided to drank a little drank, but I will not be doing that today. I am allergic to EVERYTHING! Anyways... here we go!

1) I am going to do my best to not be such a mama's boy teach my mama that we can do things separately. I do not have a problem, she does. I swear the lady is crazy. She is obsessed with me.

2) I am going to stop taking orders from the bossy min pin. She does not intimidate me... that much. Okay, maybe she is scary. She has a master plan to take over the world.

 

3) I am going to learn how to open the fridge. My parent's make it look so easy. It also holds all sorts of magical things. Like mom's special drink. She pours a tall glass and says, "Oh thank God for sweet tea!".  What is this sweet tea? Can I have some? She also loves wine and blue drink, all of that can be found in the fridge too! I have to figure out how to get in there.

4) I am going to convince my parents to buy me my very own bed. Nothing smaller than a queen for this boy. Oooh and lots of pillows. I love pillows. Especially mom's pillows. I swear, she is the one with Riley issues. I do not have Mama issues.

5) I am going to stop scratching my legs and pulling out my hair. I hate that stuff mom puts on my feet to make me stop itching.

6) And last I am going to the dog park more. I miss all of my friends!

 

I have to go now! Dad is home snuggling with me because it is New Year's Day! Mom has to work. I am going to miss her I mean she is going to miss me.

Another dog? Am I crazy?

Dear Starbucks fatass Venti peppermint mocha frap, 
You have no idea how loved and needed. I am hyper beyond words. This is the first peppermint mocha of the day. This has made my Friday.

Dear office, 
I am going to attempt to paint you by myself this weekend. BY MYSELF. I just hope your pretty hardwoods don't end up "Rushing Stream Blue". Heck, I hope I don't end up "Rushing Stream Blue."

Dear Riley and Lacey-Lou, 
So, mommy has that itch. You know that "another dog needs me" itch. I have looked at a few, and I am thinking pit. They need so much help. There are two in particular that I feel drawn too, but it's completely up too you guys. Do you want a brother or sister?

 

 

 Dear weekend, 
I plan on being productive. Don't ruin it. Don't tempt me with your lazy lull, shopping ect. It's not going to happen. I need to paint and clean and blog.

Dear OCD, 
You have been slacking. Normally, I go crazy when things are misplaced or dirty. This week the place has gotten out of hand and you haven't kicked in at all. Is it my new meds or am I just that lazy this week?

Dear menu, 
You rocked this week. Flavor-wise not calorie-wise. chicken philly with ranch bacon fries? Yes please. Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes? Yum... Let's keep up the creativity.

Dear bloggy lovelies, 
So I am thinking about changing it up again. Is it too soon since my last switch up? What do ya'll think? Any pointers or tips? 

PS the blog is a mess. Sorry I am switching it up 

Dear week, 

You have been awful. Sorry, but why you gotta by such a bish? I am just glad your party-lovin' cousin the weekend is here. Honestly, I am not partying at all. I am unpacking the house. Joy of all joys. 

Dear Jelly Belly, 

I am addicted to your Extreme Sport Beans. Energy drink in Jelly Bean form? Ah- Mazing. I can clean the whole house in like an hour on these things. I am a little ridiculous on these things. The office is threatening an intervention. 

Hello, my name is Mallory and I have a problem. 

Dear hubs, 

I love you. Even after this week. Sometimes you are a negative Nancy though and I want to punch you. 

Dear dogs, 

I love that you love your new place! Riley, you seem to enjoy this off leash freedom. Lacey, you are loving the fact that you are in "your" space. You were a puppy last time we lived here. 

Dear house, 

Be prepared for house bootcamp. I am whipping you into shape this weekend. Prepare to be organized. Just don't whip back because my old lady hip is killing me. 

Fun fact: I have an old lady hip because Casper decided to buck me to the moon. The landings get harder as you get older. Imagine that. When I get 90 I am screwed.

Dear Momma and Daddy, 

I am jealous of your new house. It should be on Cribs or in a magazine or a movie. 

Gorgeous. 

I will be invading your house frequently. 

Friday letters

Labels

Dear Lacey "min pin",
Thank you so much for being a good puppy yesterday, even though I was an awful mommy and did not make it home before the storms hit last night. I know you are terrified of them, and you were probably convinced the house was falling. You still didn't potty inside though! You even cuddled!! This is rare. You are usually under the bed during storms.

Snuggling despite the storm!

Dear Friday,

I am so glad you are here. Seriously, I have missed you dearly and cannot wait to lounge around tomorrow. Last week was so stressful and this week was a catch up week, so you are needed!

Dear cheeseburger bobbies,

You rock! You most certainly are not part of the diet plan but whatevs your delicious. I love your cheese fries and their ooey gooey goodness. Made my day.

Love,

Mal